Perfectly Placed words

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Perfectly Placed Words

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28711FBB-CA3A-4AEF-B174-989A54F71F4A
E9CDA263-AF3D-4CFA-B9E0-5439C72CEDF6
CC38B387-5979-434D-AE9D-637C53E7B847

perfectly placed words comfort me in times of distress
I often wonder why 
every vein under my skin
feels the need to be pulled and twisted
microscopic balloon animals 
into letters and phrases 
they’ll surface to the top of my throat 
as if they cannot be kept under 
I despise how my least happy memories 
are tied to my happiest moments. 
I think of my body 
not as flesh and bone
but knots of time tangled together 
that so happens to have a voice 
not as a human being 
but thick layers of emotion and decision 
when I don’t feel good enough
I turn off all the lights in my body 
cut all of the wires 
and listen for the sounds of the ocean within myself 
Some days I’ll drown 
some days I’ll surface 
each time I’ll find myself gasping for air 

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