From spilling ketchup on my white top, to harming myself in ways people cannot fathom. Everything is a learning experience, that i am aware of now. If someone were to ask me what i regret at that point, it would be who i am right now.
There’s so much that can be done, and i frequently find myself thinking of everything i’ve been missing out on; my short existence being wasted on trivial things, and knowing i’d be able to improve myself in so many ways. But at the end of each passing day, i sit myself down and applaud myself for getting this far. I’d say I don’t regret myself in any way. The fact that i’m not someone who’s willing to destroy myself anymore is enough to make my heart soar. I don’t beg to slash my skin open for people who have never cared for my well-being anymore. I won’t even think about inviting an echo to stay in my life, and ask it to make home in the hollow parts of my body. I can tell the shadows from a real person, now. I refuse to be broken down and have people examine my mind by the shaking of my fingertips and heavy breathing, to joke around and notice an aura of dignified seriousness surrounding someone listening to camouflaged sadness. As of now, when i’m down, it stands out against a background of perfection, irksome like a scratch on an immaculate paint job.
The thing is, human beings are incapable of living with a false identity for so long. They cannot pretend to be someone else because eventually, if they continue with that idea, it consumes them. If they are not beckoning toward something that won’t help them grow, their entire being will bend and twist; their latent qualities will turn fragile, unstable and will eventually turn into destructive activities.
Don’t disappear. Don’t change. Don’t regret anything. Just do, become. Speak unspoken questions, and become interested in having an eventful life. Seek wisdom and life will give it to you, I promise.